CONQUERING CHALLENGING CONVERSATIONS

Don't let a client/prospect's challenging questions challenge you.  It is very easy to take a client's questions about things you don't agree with as an affront to your value.

Let's imagine your Instagram loving prospect comes in and says any of the following:

• I'm gonna just invest in cash-flowing real estate.
• Crypto is the path to wealth.
• Big bad companies don't deserve my investing dollars.
• The market is too risky for me, I am happy with just saving my money.
• 401k's are a scam, I'll just use an individual account to invest in.
• I'm gonna achieve F.I.R.E (Financial Independence and Retire Early) by 35.  

It is really easy to get defensive and get embroiled in an argument about the value of traditionally planning and investing compared to these "investment concepts du jour" they are picking up online.   It's easy, but don't do it!

Let's talk about how to better handle Challenging Conversations in a way that preserves your professionalism and might just lead the RIGHT client/prospect back on track. 

The first thing to note is that we are not here to convince anyone of anything.  We aren't here to sell or cajole.  We are on a mission to identify 100-200 families who want help accomplishing their goals through Advice-Based Financial Planning.   Some people might not get it at first, but they may be teachable.  Others just aren't and don't need to be part of your community.

The first concept is to know who is worth having a Challenging Conversation with and who is just not.

The next concept is that you need to get your own ego and defensiveness out of the way to have a meaningful conversation about anything hard.  Don't jump into defense mode.  Don't attack them and their dumb ideas.  Don't push back at all. 

Approach a challenging conversation with curiosity and a spirit of inquiry.

Once you have your "Patient Hat" on, now you can begin to choreograph the conversation in such a way that it has the highest probability of success.  Let's define success.   Success is not winning the argument.  Success is helping this person/family make better decisions in alignment with their long-term goals.  Success may be measured in degrees, not just winning or losing. 

Now I would like to introduce you to a 5-step framework for Challenging Conversations.  This outline will help you slow down and organize your thoughts in order to have the most productive conversation.  It will also allow you to document your Planning Philosophies with regard to commonly asked questions in advance. 

1. Ask clarifying questions.
2. Acknowledge their perspective.
3. Outline your considerations & ask for input.
4. Share your philosophy.
5. Confirm their thoughts/plans.

It seems so simple, but having a framework to fall back on when you are faced with what can appear to be an existential question can be invaluable.  An existential question is one that FEELS like it is calling into question everything you do.

Why wouldn't I just invest in cash-flowing real estate instead of this ephemeral stock market you keep talking about?

This can feel like a slap in the face to the untrained advisor.  Like an argument or a fight waiting to happen.  But coming from the right client/prospect, it might be just the only way they have ever understood that people use to build wealth and you may be able to help them build a broader understanding.  (FYI that was me when I was young.  The only rich people I knew owned real estate, so, therefore, it was the only method I understood to build wealth)

Using this Challenging Conversation framework, you can now openly explore the topic in question and see if there is alignment to work together (continuing to work together) or not.

I personally find that the vast majority of the time, the clients just don't want to feel dumb.  They see/hear other people talk about different perspectives and they are concerned that they are being left behind.  Once I explore the topic and share my considerations and planning philosophy on the subject they usually end up agreeing with me and we proceed together off into the planning sunset.

In service,

-Lucila